In the wisdom of my maturing years, I have identified a question that changes my worried nature. ‘How does this serve me?’ So many things over the years would have been different if I had known to ask myself this question.

Yet, is it all about me? Does everything have to serve me? In a way, yes. It is all about me. If I am worried, anxious, nervous afraid or anything on the negative side of the feelings scale, then that emanates outwardly from me to everyone in my existence and everything I touch. If I am on the positive side of the feelings scale anything from okay to elation, then that is what emanates outwardly from me. Most of us are familiar with the phrase ‘if momma’s happy, we’re all happy’ or ‘happy wife, happy life.’ The single question ‘how does this serve me?’ helps to get me better able to create the good space in which I want to hang out.

‘How does this serve me?’ If I ask the question and take a breath, and open to see if I am connected to my self-energy, the energy that is also connected to God, the universal source of all that is, then I often find the answer I am seeking. ’How does this serve me?’ It serves me to be okay, to be good, to be connected to self and to the impact I want to make in the world. If I sense the answer ‘it doesn't serve me!’ as in: it doesn't serve well to be who and how I want to be, it doesn't help me be clear, calm and on purpose right now, then I breathe again and allow it to move through me and float away. Or, sometimes I kick its ass out of me. Negativity does not get to take up space in my mind and heart, twisting my mood and emotions and taking a toll on my wellbeing.

How did I get to this mature way of thinking? Because I lived the opposite for two of my life decades in which I created marriage+children=family. I suffer a bit for not having known the power of this simple question then. Might I have been less yelling-mom? Role modeling for our daughters the opportunity to take responsibility for one’s emotions/frame of mind and behavior? And teaching-by-example that when you take responsibility for your own self/feelings/emotions, then you get control of same! And Role modeling better wife responsibilities, stopping the blame game. ‘How does this serve me?’ ‘What’s in my control right now?’ ‘Will this feeling well-serve my next moment, my next day, my life?’ ‘What if I take control of my thoughts here & now, this moment?’ ‘What if I do what is in my control to change the way I'm feeling or thinking, take responsibility to transform and shift this mindset I'm in right now?’

How does this serve me? A simple question to change your life.